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This is another dictation meaning I'm not typing this I'm simply reciting it and my device is doing the typing for me. This is great if you are like me and only have one available hand to use. I know most keyboards and devices have things like swipe, autocorrect, and predictive type analysis. However, I find them to be quite annoying and the learning curve for the program is also a pain in the rear end. Let me clarify: I don't mean the time it takes from me to learn how to use the program I mean the time it takes the program to learn and adapt to my voice etc etc etc.

How to keep pushing forward.

I wish I could tell you that it's easy, I wish I could say just tough it out, be strong, have a strong will, have a great family, have wonderful friends.... While those are nice things to have when it comes down to it and it really really hurts.. I'm talking about a 10 on the Pain Scale( the normal one that everyone uses) or 50 on the McGill scale (I know rsd's not rated 50 but trying to make a point) you would be in the fetal position or whatever position crying and screaming in pain. If you're lucky your house or room would have enough isolation so that no one can hear your screams. You can reach for your medication, don't follow what your doctor tell you and go ahead and take some more... The only thing that's going to come out of this is nothing. You'll get no relief and you'll short yourself medication that you will need for the rest of the month. The fact of the matter is most people with RSD/CRPS that's up to stage two or three will be on some sort of medication. Even if you're not at a stage 2 or 3 you will need medication to get through the day. I digress...

So, there you are laying on the floor screaming wanting to paint stop, asking God for help, asking guardian Angel to come help you, taking extra medication, doing whatever you can to try to make it stop - but guess what? It doesn't. The next logical step would be go to emergency room right? Good luck with that. In my experience as soon as you go to the emergency room for pain and when you tell them you already been diagnosed with chronic regional pain syndrome, or RSD.. First off, they'll be completely stumped. They have no idea what you're talkin about, even be attending physician who you'll meet eventually. I remember once going to mayo Clinic. The pain was intolerable.. So I thought I'd give mayo another shot. Do you know what the physician told me? He walked into the room, had no idea what chronic regional pain syndrome is or if you want to use RSD that's fine too.. Point is he knew nothing about it yet he was extremely dismissive of my current condition and the fact that I needed help. Keep in mind I've been going through this for 10 years so I know when I go to the emergency room or to see any doctor. I had my entire medical history, all MRI, excetera excetera excetera. I even brought all my medication with me he can count the pills to see and to show him that I'm not abusing or misusing my medication. I simply just needed help. This moron told me, I had brain surgery and I'm back at work. If I can handle that you can handle this and then gave me my discharge papers. Man.... This was not my only negative experience with the famous Mayo Clinic. So, what now?

Endurance

After what you read so far does it come as a surprise that RSD /CRPS is nickname the suicide disease. I mean, if you can somehow imagine... The fact that matters most people can't because either they haven't experienced real or seen someone they love suffer, thus making them incapable of empathy or sympathy towards anyone going through anything like this. The first time you hit an actual 10 pain Scale and I'm not talkin about a stupid migraine or your menstrual cycle pain... I'm talking about , man. Tired of explaining it, tired of trying to get people to understand... Just tired. Please don't try to compare what you're going through or f****** menstrual cycle 2 what I'm trying so explain here... I digress.

To endure this kind of suffering, which really is inhumane, takes a lot of strength. So, please do not think for one second that any of this makes me weak, less than, a coward, or any other ridiculous sayings or phrases that comes to mind. To endure means you have to take your regular dosage of medication and literally endure this flare up until it's over. God won't help you, crying won't help you, your family can't help you... Literally nothing can help you. If I'm going to be completely honest the only place that can help you if you get to this level is a Hospital. As I mentioned earlier most hospitals will eradicate you, give you some bulshit reason and dismiss you without any sympathy, empathy or compassion. All of this all of this is dewpider ignorance and simple let's call it misunderstanding of what your condition really can do to you and how painful it really is. (pain is not the word, agony is contiguous but not quite there... I'm digressing again. When I lived in New York I was lucky to find a hospital to help in situations like these. It goes without saying you obviously need insurance. I will not name the hospital because people, generally, have a tendency to abuse things. After they've helped me so many times, I will not send possible Junkies to that Hospital. It will be a task, a very difficult one at that, to find that solitude. As I said before, endure.

" adapt, overcome, achieve"

If you are going to go to emergency room or see a new doctor please review our page on this matter. In the header navigation and once it's been added it should automatically link you to that section, it will help.

Author: Rishi Padooman

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